The New Normal

The New Normal.  A phrase, for whatever reason, that Frank has heard quite a bit lately.  Seems that "The New Normal" is some sort of catch-phrase used to describe the aftermath of a change.  Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but how do you define a "new normal" when it seems the old normal was never defined to begin with!

Normal to Frank has always been some obscure concept.  Even from a young age, normal just wasn't there.  While the other kids had dads that worked a day shift and were home at night, Frank's dad worked second shift, and was rarely home in the evenings.  Now, don't get me wrong, there were advantages, quite a few actually, that went along with that.  Dad was there to get Frank and his sister up and off the school, complete with a hot breakfast and a final "check" as we walked out the door to catch the bus.

Normal was not in Frank's vocabulary in his teen years, especially when he entered the workforce.  While the other kids were working part time jobs at fast food joints, Frank started part time at a national chain grocery store.  Within a couple of years, he was considered full time, and by the time he graduated from high school, his salary was actually more than what some of his non-tenured teachers were making.

This new normal has come to Frank's mind mostly due to the time of the year.  In a short month or so, quite a few parents will start to adjust to another new normal.  Some will face the first time their little ones start school; others will face the new normal that comes with their adult children starting college, especially if it's away from home; and still others will face the new normal of watching their children, now adults, either enter the workforce following attaining a college degree, or getting married and starting their own families...or both.  In either case, probably moving out of the family home.

Frank is learning a new normal of his own, as are Tammy, Allison and Kendall.  At the end of last month, they moved from their home of ten and a half years, into a new home. When first told of the pending move, one of their daughters became somewhat emotional. The other, this being the only home she has ever known, seemed to take it in stride.

Their two dogs, one about 3 and the other 13, seemed to handle the move in different ways as well.  The older of the two, Shay, did not adjust well.  She was obviously confused, struggled standing up on the newly-polished hardwood floors, and just didn't seem to like the change at all.

Potter, on the other hand, well, he was just Potter.  Always the bundle of energy, he explored the new home, laid claim to some of his favorite spots, and adjusted probably better than most of us.

Of course with the multitude of tasks of moving, Frank and Tammy didn't have time to dwell on the move.  With the moving of utilities, closing of the documents, as well as physically moving 27 years worth of "stuff" from one location to another, their hands were full.  Once the house was completely empty, Frank did one last walk through, checking each closet and room, every cubby hole and hiding place.  He looked in Kendall's bedroom where, although empty now, had been the home of her crib and toys, bed and stuffed animals.

He looked in Allison's room, now a neutral color, but once a pepto-bismol pink, a concession that Frank had made when they moved to this "forever" home in December, 2003.  The big office downstairs, once the home of his firm, now stood empty.  The storage room, where he had made his signature wines, empty as well.  Although the hint of a wine scent still in the air, or so Frank thought.

The freshly cut yard, with only the swingset remaining, waited for the new family to arrive.  He looked out over the back yard, where once were crop furrows when they arrived, but now, a green, lush yard.  Many back-breaking hours of seeding and mowing had gone into that back yard, now to be someone else's chore.

Tammy and Frank had contracted the building of this custom home some 11 years ago.  They had picked out the lot, the plan, had even customized the plan to suit their tastes.  At that time, it was considered to be their "forever" home...having everything they could ever want or need.  Little did they know how much change they would see over the next 11 years.  As the house took shape, the walls erected, the flooring laid, everything was coming together.

But change was on the horizon.  A couple of years or so after moving in, Frank opened his firm.  A year or so later, Kendall was born.  Allison kept advancing in grades and life kept happening.  The 30-or-so stairs became a challenge, just getting groceries in the house became difficult.  Kendall started pre-school and Allison was a full-blown high school student.  It wouldn't be long before Allison would be pulling out of that driveway on her way to college.  Another "new normal."

But, now, the "new normal" is home being a mere 20 minutes away.  The office will stay the same; Frank's commute time will grow by 3 times.  Instead of 5 minutes to the office, it's now 15.  The home they have purchased puts them closer to family and church, the community more urban that what they have had.  The yard is about a fourth of what they've had, the house about the same size, sans all those stairs.  Kendall will start school in the fall, 2nd grade, another "new normal" from the home schooling environment she had last year.

Just to make sure he has as many changes as possible, Frank also traded in his signature truck for one of those cross-over vehicles. Gas mileage significantly higher, and the change to driving a non-truck has been challenging, to say the least. But change will happen.

As summer starts to wind down, the boxes are being unpacked, the rooms are being set up, area rugs are going down and window blinds are going up.  The house is turning into a home.  Routines are being set and the new normal continues to evolve.

Next month, Allison will return to college and will only be home about one weekend a month. Although the frequency of visits home makes Frank sad, he realizes that she is growing into a young adult, her life is changing, her interests no longer exclusive to areas close by.

In closing, it seems as though this new normal, well, it's more about facing and embracing change.  Nothing stays the same, no matter how "forever" you may think something is. Who would've thought that this move would happen just 10 1/2 years later; who would've thought that Frank would open his own firm; who would've thought that Frank and Tammy would be blessed with not one, but two beautiful daughters?  Certainly not Frank.

But, maybe, just maybe, constant change IS the New Normal.  Food for thought.