You know, sometimes you just don't appreciate those around you that mean the most. It sometimes takes an event, or a circumstance, or something really dramatic to, as Frank's dad is prone to say, "smack you upside the head with a two by four."
Frank and Tammy have been married for nearly 22 years. They have endured learning to be married, learning to laugh at life's little challenges, laugh at themselves, and build a loving and trusting home for themselves and their children. They have been through more than a few job changes, a career change or two, change in homes more than a few times, and those changes in their family that seem to never be as expected.
Life seems to throw challenges that somehow seem to strengthen each of us in the long run. Whether it be the joyous occasion of a birth, a graduation, a milestone reached; perhaps a sad event such as the loss of a loved one, the onset of an illness or disease; or just enduring the day to day challenges that come down the pipeline such as communication challenges with colleagues or friends, the unavoidable conflicts of life, or just plain ol' disagreements.
Frank found himself in one of those unenviable situations a few weeks ago. The conflict had been building for nearly two years, and played itself out in the most unlikely of settings, with a cast of players that no one would've predicted. The details of the incident or the circumstances that led up to the public event are not important. The specifics of the dispute are irrelevant to those not directly involved. But, what is important, is the lessons learned by Frank through the process.
Frank has prided himself on an ability to handle those situations that confront him on a daily basis. He doesn't like to burden Tammy or the girls, and in most cases, has been successful in keeping the issues out of the home. That's not to say that Frank and Tammy don't discuss life's events on a regular basis, but that Frank tries to be self-sufficient in handling those events, believing that doing so is a better choice.
However, this particular event was more than Frank could handle alone. He became entirely entwined in the conflict, he allowed himself to become emotionally involved in the situation, he felt himself dangerously losing control of his ability to contain the rage he felt. He walked away from the confrontation to find himself momentarily confused, angry beyond belief, but most of all, alone.
The operative word is momentarily. As soon as Tammy was notified of the events, she went searching for Frank. It wasn't long before she was successful in locating him, and was shortly by his side. When Frank needed to talk, she listened. When he began to vent his rage, not at her but the situation, she offered comforting words. When the adrenalin began to subside and Frank began to shake from the sudden physiological change, she held him.
Frank took from this incident not the anger, not the confusion, not the near lack of control, but rather a renewed appreciation for his wife, Tammy. She, in her uncanny way, knew where she was needed, what she needed to do, the words she needed to say...or not say. She was Frank's calming effect, his port in a sea of turmoil, his anchor to bring him back to a comfortable place.Frank and Tammy have been married for nearly 22 years. They have endured learning to be married, learning to laugh at life's little challenges, laugh at themselves, and build a loving and trusting home for themselves and their children. They have been through more than a few job changes, a career change or two, change in homes more than a few times, and those changes in their family that seem to never be as expected.
Life seems to throw challenges that somehow seem to strengthen each of us in the long run. Whether it be the joyous occasion of a birth, a graduation, a milestone reached; perhaps a sad event such as the loss of a loved one, the onset of an illness or disease; or just enduring the day to day challenges that come down the pipeline such as communication challenges with colleagues or friends, the unavoidable conflicts of life, or just plain ol' disagreements.
Frank found himself in one of those unenviable situations a few weeks ago. The conflict had been building for nearly two years, and played itself out in the most unlikely of settings, with a cast of players that no one would've predicted. The details of the incident or the circumstances that led up to the public event are not important. The specifics of the dispute are irrelevant to those not directly involved. But, what is important, is the lessons learned by Frank through the process.
Frank has prided himself on an ability to handle those situations that confront him on a daily basis. He doesn't like to burden Tammy or the girls, and in most cases, has been successful in keeping the issues out of the home. That's not to say that Frank and Tammy don't discuss life's events on a regular basis, but that Frank tries to be self-sufficient in handling those events, believing that doing so is a better choice.
However, this particular event was more than Frank could handle alone. He became entirely entwined in the conflict, he allowed himself to become emotionally involved in the situation, he felt himself dangerously losing control of his ability to contain the rage he felt. He walked away from the confrontation to find himself momentarily confused, angry beyond belief, but most of all, alone.
The operative word is momentarily. As soon as Tammy was notified of the events, she went searching for Frank. It wasn't long before she was successful in locating him, and was shortly by his side. When Frank needed to talk, she listened. When he began to vent his rage, not at her but the situation, she offered comforting words. When the adrenalin began to subside and Frank began to shake from the sudden physiological change, she held him.
Tammy, to Frank, is his life partner, the mother of their children, the love of his life. Sure, they've had their disagreements; what married couple doesn't? But, the good far and away outweighs the bad in their marriage; they have been successful together building a loving family; Frank gladly and proudly attributes his success to the quiet and faithful support of his lovely Tammy.
So, as it hasn't been said nearly enough to the lovely Tammy..."Thanks, Shuggee...I love you!"
No comments:
Post a Comment