In the middle...

We had a few storms move through Middle TN last night, nothing serious, but storms nonetheless. As has become the custom its seems, Kendall made her way downstairs to Frank and Tammy's room, and promptly climbed under the sheets and comforter between her two parents. She was "in the middle," her safe place.

Over coffee this morning, Frank was remembering how Allison, up until just a few years ago, would do the same thing. If a storm were to roll through during the night, if she was frightened by a dream or a "bump in the night," Frank and Tammy could pretty much count on Allison finding her way to "the middle" by daybreak.

Allison doesn't find her way to Frank and Tammy's bedroom on such occasions anymore, being more content to sleep in her own room, in her own bed. On occasion, when the storms are especially bad, Frank will have her get in bed with Tammy and Kendall while he sleeps on the couch watching the weather channel, but that is more for the peace of mind of Frank than for Allison's comfort.

Frank was trying to remember whether he, as a child, would go to his parents' room when he was frightened. He doesn't remember doing so, some 40 years ago, but he does remember knowing that should he be frightened, he knew he was safe with his parents. Frank grins imagining himself now, all 6'4" 240 lbs, climbing in bed with his parents in their home in Clarksville...what a visual!

But isn't that exactly what we do in our everyday lives, to some degree or the other? We like existing and functioning and living and working in those environments that we feel comfortable and safe in. How many times have you said, or heard others say, they didn't sleep well while staying in a hotel? Even though the hotel may have offered the most luxurious accomodations available, the comfort level was not there.

>How many times have we not taken that risk that could've yielded rewards, because it didn't fit in our comfort zone? Frank can remember some four years ago when he stepped out of the comfort of working for a local government and opened the office. He remembers being very apprehensive about the move...would he be able to meet the financial obligations, would he be able to keep up the pace, would he succeed?

He remembers spending countless hours developing a very conservative budget, taking into account every possible scenario, counting every penny. Finally, he reached that comfortable place, "in the middle" so to speak, and he announced his resignation from his position. Tammy and Allison were there to support his decision, friends and family wished him well and told him he would do fine, but he had to reach that place in his own mind and heart.

He had to believe it.

The point of this is not to emphasize Frank's ability to take risk. Far from it. There is no doubt that Frank was scared to death the night he made his announcement to the county commission. Even though he had done all his homework, he had analyzed every angle, he had taken into account every possibility, the butterflies in his stomach not only fluttered about, they felt like vultures gnawing away at him!

The point of this is to make others think about the options that are face, the knock of opportunities that go unanswered, the paths not taken because it is outside of that safe place that we know and cherish.

Just as a side note, less than eight months after opening the office, Frank and Tammy learned they were having Kendall...a possibility that was never considered!

PSS...Oh, by the way, today is my "little sister's" birthday! Happy Birthday, Sis...hope you have a good one! Just as a point of trivia, some forty-something years ago...it snowed 6 inches in Clarskville, TN! Sis always did like to make an entrance in a big way!

A Politcal Topic? Oh No!

Frank didn't do coffee with me this morning...he slept in...until after 10:00! Yesterday was the last day to file returns for tax year 2008, and he had a very long day. It was well after 8:00 when he finished up last night, and well, he essentially took today off.

But, we've been talking the past couple of days, and Frank has been thinking about a matter that is probably about as close to a political issue that we have ventured into since doing this blog. It has to do with those that serve in political office for extended periods of time. When Frank was working in Kentucky back in the '90's, the congressman for that district passed away after serving in Congress for over 40 years. He had even set the record for the most consecutive congressional votes at 18,401. Frank thinks that such dedication to public service is admirable and should be recognized, but shouldn't there be a cut off somewhere?

This is added to the recollection of a senator from South Carolina that served in that position from 1954 to 2003 when he died at age 100. Not only was he the oldest person to ever serve in the Senate, but also holds the record for the longest filibuster at 24 hour and 18 minutes. Again, very admirable, but he probably should have retired after that record-breaking speech.

Longevity is not restricted to offices held in Washington, DC, but also state houses across the country. Right here in Tennessee, there is a state senator that announced in March, 2008, that he would not run for re-election to a seat he had held since 1958, and serving as Speaker of the Senate from 1971 to 2007.

Of course, these are exceptional tenures and, as stated earlier, should be recognized for the dedication and loyalty of these men to their political aspirations. But, when the government was set up in the late 18th century, is this what the framers had in mind? Frank would like to believe that the founding fathers envisioned a government run not by career politicians, but by those that have looked at it as a short term opportunity to serve, to return at its conclusion to the lives and careers formerly held.

How would the writers of the Constitution look upon the hour upon hour of committee debate recently played out on C-Span on the health care issue? What would they think of the exploded budget with billions and billions of dollars spent on pet projects and earmarks? How would they view the multiple offices and staffs employed by Congress persons and Senators? The budget for staff Blackberries (R) would probably exceed the household budgets of many homes in this country! There is a commercial for a cellular phone company that has a legislative body conducting business through the use of its walkie-talkie service. In this 30 second television spot, the entire legislative agenda was accomplished. Something to think about.

Frank has always thought there should be term limits in place for political office, but has been reluctant to advocate for legislation creating such limits. The reason for the reluctance is that (1) in Frank's mind, it is a violation of the freedom of speech concept, and (2) there could be a legitimate reason to allow a person to hold an office for longer that a legislated term limit. Such reasons might include a national emergency, an issue the person holds a special expertise in, or there just isn't a good candidate to oppose the office holder. In other words, if term limits are legislated, it paints the process into a corner, regardless of what current situation exist.

In essence, the idea of term limits holds a special attraction, but the limit should be set by the voters, not by legislation. But, in order to make term limits a reality, there must be a push by all concerned to recruit qualified candidates to run for these offices. And not just by the established political parties, but by grassroots organizations such as business associations and civic clubs.

And while we're at it, maybe we should advocate for a better understanding of the government by voters. Frank is constantly amazed by the fact that education of the public on civic matters is left to the likes of news organizations, political pundits and talk radio hosts...all of which are chasing advertising ratings.

A thought on conflicts

Frank starting thinking about the concept of grudges this morning. He had a little more time, and even though he and Allison didn't get to walk this morning, things were alot smoother than in recent mornings.

Many people spend a great deal of time, energy and resources harboring grudges about incidents that happened many years ago, sometimes decades. Without getting too detailed, Frank knows of several of these types of relationships. One he can remember vividly involved money, and the close relationship that once was, is now demolished...all for the sake of money. Now, one party would contend that it wasn't the amount of money, but the fact that a trust was broken; the other party would contend that the accusation was false. Both parties dug in their heels pretty deeply, and the relationship has suffered in excess of 25 years. As the two approach the twilight of their years, it has become apparent the two will never rekindle the closeness they once had.

Sad.


Another situation that Frank was involved in a number of years ago revolved around a dispute and the way Frank handled it. Looking back, the way Frank handled it was wrong and probably lead to more hurt feelings than the underlying situation itself. That grudge lasted for about 4 years, and fortunately, reconcilement was forthcoming and Frank and the other party are the best of friends today.

That's good.


Now Frank is involved in another situation, one that will, at least for the foreseeable future, result in another friendship or two being lost. And, this time, there's really nothing that Frank can do to resolve the situation...he has done what he can, but the other party feels wronged, and there's nothing Frank can do to change that. Frank has wracked his mind trying to figure out a way to mend the broken fences (more like the fence around a property after being hit by an 18-wheeler full of logs!), a way to see the other party's side of the situation, a way to reconcile. But no fixes, either quick or complicated are forthcoming.


Even if Frank apologized to the other party, it would not be sincere, and Frank knows that. Frank truly believes he used every weapon in his arsenal to support this person, only to become a victim of this person himself. There have been many things said, many things left unsaid, that hinder the process of healing this situation. To say that Frank and others have lost many sleepless nights over this situation, would be an understatement. To say that wounds have occurred that will take many, many years to heal would be very accurate.

Sad.

The only thing left to do is move on from the situation. A situation that has been consuming an increasing amount of emotional, physical and time resources for the better part of two years. The hard part is, in the words of Kenny Rogers, "you have to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold, know when to walk away, know when to run." It is so difficult for Frank to give up on a situation, he hates to quit on someone or something that he supported so ardently in the past. But, Frank knows, its time to fold and walk away. But, walk away with his head held up; walk away with the sincere belief that he did all he could, was supportive as far as he could be, and there's nothing left to be said or done that will change the relationship back to the way it was.

Maybe time will heal the wound and the scar won't be too conspicuous, but, let there be no doubt, a scar will exists on the minds and souls of all those involved.

Looking back...looking forward

Coffee with Frank this morning was rushed and brief. Frank stayed up way too late to watch the Sunday night game and his Steelers score a win, albeit an ugly win, against the Chargers. On top of this, Kendall climbed in bed with him and Tammy about 2:00 this morning. Frank is convinced the girl is part octopus...no matter what part of the king size bed he gets on, Kendall can always manage to kick him or punch him!

So, after fighting the urge to sleep in and do permanent damage to the alarm clock, Frank rolled out a little after 6 and got breakfast going for him and Allison. After a quiet shower (didn't want to wake Tammy and Kendall), Frank had a few moments with me and his coffee before rushing out the door to get Allison to school.

Allison has this project due in her World History class in which she has to interview an "older" person to gain perspective on how things were in days gone by. Allison has chosen to interview Frank's dad. Dad is being great about it and is looking forward to the experience. He has even gone so far as to ask for a "sneak preview" of the interview questions, so he can better prepare his answers. Once again, he's showing Frank how to be an effective and loving grandparent, just as he demonstrated how to be a great parent so many (????) years ago. So the date has been set for Wednesday evening, and of course it will probably become a family event, as not only have Frank and Allison been invited, but Tammy and Kendall are expected as well. And never let it be said that Frank's parents allowed anyone to leave their house hungry...the feast will rival anything served by the White House kitchen for visiting dignitaries.

This whole project got Frank to thinking about how those that have tread these parts would view the "progress" that has occurred since they have passed on. Frank thinks of his own grandparents, especially his maternal grandfather who passed on when Frank was only 10 years old. How would he view the changes that have occurred since his unexpected passing in the summer of 1972, some 37 years ago?

Just for a moment, Frank imagined how his grandad would react were he somehow to view the changes. For instance, I-24 did not exist in 1972 between Clarksville and Nashville, and the primary route was Highway 41-A, a road then called Nashville Highway. Highway? How in the world did that road get the title of 'highway?' On a good day, you might get your vehicle up to 55 mph, and that would be at 2:00 in the morning! Well, maybe not that bad...but close!

As Frank's grandad spent practically his whole life in Montgomery Co., TN, Frank imagined how he would react to the changes north of Clarksville. Remember, once your crossed the Red River heading out of Clarksville toward KY, there was very little between the city limits and the state line. Corn fields, tobacco crops, a church here and there...but that was about it. Frank remembers crossing Guthrie Highway back then on his three-speed bike on a summer afternoon...don't try this now...unless at one of the many traffic lights. If you told Grandad you were going to the mall, he would probably think you were going to the Clarksville Plaza...a structure that now houses most of the county government offices on Madison Street. There's another change he would probably have issue with...Frank could hear him now..."You're going to Montgomery Ward to get your license plate?"

But Frank thinks that the biggest change that would strike his grandfather would be the change in technology. In the early 70's, if you had access to a typewriter, you were considered high tech. A computer? Didn't NASA use one of those to put a man on the moon? How about a cell phone? Please...if you had a rotary dial phone in your home...one line...no call waiting, caller ID or answering machine...you were modern.

Frank wonders how he would react to all this, but most of all, Frank wonders what the answers will be if he is fortunate enough to someday sit down and help one of Allison or Kendall's children with a history project. Will he reminisce about carrying that huge Blackberry Curve as opposed to having an implant in his ear? Will he remember driving the gas-guzzling Ford SporTrac as he boards a solar-powered bullet train for dinner in New York City? Or, will he remember typing this blog some 30 years from now, and wonder, how did he remember where all those letters were on that keyboard?

Change is going to happen...Even if a single new bit of technology is never invented, change is going to happen. Will we long for the "good ol' days" when we look back, or will we marvel at the wonders that we have accomplished in our lifetime? Interesting...very interesting.