Thoughts on Turning 50

Well, its all over.  A couple of days ago, I turned 50.  Yes, I endured the black balloons, the box of bran flakes, the sympathy card, the fire extinguisher jokes, etc., etc.  At the end of the day, I found myself sitting in the recliner watching election returns and enjoying being just who I am.

 

I have to be honest, I have had a very difficult time with this particular age transition.  I've been through a range of emotion from "I haven't accomplished what I thought I would have...," to "50? Really?," to "this 50 thing ain't so bad," back to "50? Really?"  Even though I struggled some with turning 30, I didn't really mind turning 40, but 50, well, that kind of threw me for a loop.  Don't really know why, just did.  So after some reflection and some chance encounters with some friends and family, this is how I made it through.
Looking back, I've spent 50 years being a son, nearly 46 being a big brother, over 24 years being married and over 17 years being a dad.  I have a beautiful loving wife, two beautiful daughters, a support network second to none, a successful business, a wonderful office team, just to name a few.

While I was struggling with the "I haven't accomplished what I thought I would have..." emotion, a dear friend and mentor had me do a quick balance sheet.  That exercise put into perspective just how fortunate and blessed I truly am.

Also during this transition, I scheduled an appointment with my medical professional, also a great friend. This visit helped to find out the emotions being felt were entirely normal.  She ran some tests, checked the vitals and told me that everything was just fine.  Apparently, contrary to popular belief, I'm about as normal as you can get.  Normal blood pressure, normal cholesterol, normal weight, normal aches and pains...actually, I guess I'm a little boring. A little insomnia, but nothing to get terribly excited about.  If you're facing a crisis in age transition, I highly recommend such an appointment as it will put your mind at ease.

Another thing I did was re-join the gym.  Tommorrow will be my first workout.  Starting out slow, and working back up to three times a week.  I have been assured, and know from past experience, that my energy level will increase as the gym time increases.  I even asked another friend who is a personal trainer, to write me a professional work-out schedule.  It is progressive, but not too aggressive and I am eager to get started.

So what's left in this transition?   Well, that's pretty simple.  Get on with the getting on of life.  Even though I don't have any intentions of writing a "bucket list" anytime soon, I would like to turn the following into habits:
(1) Spend more time with my wife and daughters.  Its just something that I really would like to do;
(2) Take time to stop and smell the roses;  I spend way too much time taking way too many things way too seriously.  Most of the things that I expend the most amount of energy and angst on aren't going to matter 6 months from now, much less 10 years from now;
(3) Exercise on a regular basis;
(4) Eat healthier;

So that's it.  The transition to the sixth decade of life is complete.  The goals are set and the plans are made.  There's no going back, that's for sure, and getting older sure beats the alternative.

wheni's, theni's & wishi's

Its been awhile since there's been a post here.  Many observations made but not recorded, many changes occurred but not chronicled, many trips made, but not logged.
Could it be that what once was a goal to jot down a few thoughts once a week or so, is now just a by-gone wish that cannot be revived?  Maybe not.
Looking back over past blogs, Frank recalled some of the events that made him write his thoughts.  Mostly happy events, but some thoughts recorded were the product of, at best, frustrating occurrences.  But, looking back, most of those frustrations have drifted off as memories, and not really a factor in everyday life.  Every once in a while something will happen that will remind him of those times, but for the most part, Frank just lets those items stay in the deep grey matter of the mind.
A thought that's been swirling around for some time is wheni's, theni's and wishi's.  Everyone knows what these are if you just take a moment to think about it.  How many times have we said, "When I ___________, then I ___________."
Some examples would be, "when I grow up, (then) I want to be a doctor," "when I turn 16, then I will get my license," or the ever-popular, "when I get time, then I will spend more time with the family."
It seems as though we're always chasing something, we're wanting something we don't have, we're trying to get to that point where we can do the fun stuff, but it is just beyond our grasp.
Something even more ironic is, on those occasions when we do reach those goals, we use the "wishi." We've all heard, or some variation of, "when I _________, I wish I had ____________." Some popular examples would be, after getting the college degree, you hear, "when I graduated from high school, I wish I had gone in the military," or maybe, "when we first got married, I wish we had traveled more," or, the one heard time and again, "when the kids were younger, I wish I had spent more time with them."
Now, don't get me wrong, this is not some far-fetched indictment on setting goals or chasing dreams.  This is not to insinuate that we should all be content and never try to achieve more, but rather a suggestion we should put just as much effort into enjoying the moments we're living in as we do looking backwards.  Maybe we should realize that life doesn't come with an instruction manual and we're going to make mistakes and have regrets. But, those same mistakes and regrets should help to remind us that what is happening today is what memories will be made of in the years to come.  The regrets of yesterday should not result in today not being a happy memory of tomorrow.
Thoughts?